Killin' the Demons, Celebrating with Friends

Today was all about release and redemption. After 2 weeks completely away from the bike, and a crap-load of midterms and stress in between, today's pain was the reward.

Chris and I drove out to Golden for the second installation of the GMS Mammoth CX. It was a gorgeous day, sunny but a bit chilly with temps hovering just above 50F. I've been bound to homework all weekend (as is the norm these days), and racing was my chance to get out and rediscover the competition that fuels me.

I got a great start, and basically just put my nose to the grindstone. Within the first lap, I was solidly rooted in 4th place, and I rode the entire rest of the race alone, against the wind. I was not without strength though, as even when the pain set in, I continued to slay the demons within me, and free myself to ride on, harder and tougher.
I finished 4th overall and 1st in Cat 2, just one spot out of the money, but my best finish to date! One last race looms on the horizon, the Colorado State Championships on December 7th. I plan to save the best for last.Chris took some awesome photos, and three of my friends showed up to compile a sustantial cheering section! Thanks Stefanie, Becky, and Lindsey!!

Double Whammy

Yesterday just sucked, that's all I can possibly fluff it up. It's been 5 months since my Dad passed away, and life doesn't just go on as normal like everyone thinks. Those demons live inside me and attack my psyche often, and when I least expect it. Coupled with the extreme stress of school, it's been a rough semester to say the least. I've been getting help, and helping myself, but what happened yesterday just blew me out of the water, so to speak. While we sat for our last class of the day to begin, a 3-hour doozy of Health Ethics on Friday afternoon, we were abruptly informed that our professor had sustained extreme head trauma in a motor vehicle accident, and that the family had decided to discontinue life support. Our class was in shock, I was in despair.

Frankly, I'm tired of traumatic events, and I'm tired of people I really care about dying. I feel like I've been stripped down to the raw bone and nerve again, with all of the anxiety and helplessness flooding back in.

Today was better, yet it's another insurmountable task added to my plate to work through this latest bout of grief. I'm planning to race tomorrow, and hopefully exorcise some of those lingering demons.

REST

I read a quote the other day, it went something like this: "It is only work when you'd rather be doing something else." Good or bad, depending on your frame of reference, I suppose. Although I'd always rather be doing something else, especially riding and racing my CX bike any day of the week, I've realized life's priorities have taken command.

So this week, I left the bike in the basement, went running twice, and focused on studying for yet more midterm exams.

One Speed

I came into the race today feeling a bit listless, tired, irritable, and stressed. It's halfway through the semester, and it's that time when things start ramping up, and the inevitable midterm exams arrive. I knew this feeling would come sooner than later, especially when I've been steamrolling through the 'cross season, and paying lesser regard to studying.

Still though, getting outside, thrashing my legs, and gasping for air during a 'cross race does something to revive my mind and spirit. It was literally an afternoon break from exam studying today, and Chris and I drove out to Golden for the Schwab Cycles CX #3 race. It was held atop South Table Mesa, at the CSP test track. Not your typical stopping grounds for 'cross, and more than a few people were disgruntled by the extreme presence of tire eating goatheads. I was glad I was running my tubulars, but was still wary during the warm-up... there were even goatheads on the pavement!

With my legs feeling a bit sapped from the last few weekends of hard racing, I aimed to make this race a "hard workout." While I always race my hardest (and get my money's worth), I knew today was a day to focus on the small details and technical aspects of the race that will pay bigger dividens down the road.

I got my front spot on the line, but when the gun went off, my legs just didn't have their usual snap. I was immediately engulfed and sat mid-pack for the first couple laps.
I got into a groove and passed people back as the laps counted down, but I had only one speed today.
My focus on the details paid off as I cleared all the barriers efficiently, cornered well, had no crashes or major technical errors, and no mechanicals.I finished 13th overall, and 4th in Cat 2. With one month of the 'cross season remaining, I know there is still room for some big improvement. The best thing I can do from here on out is get some R&R (in between late nights studying of course), and be ready for the CO state cx champs when December rolls around.

Runnin' with the BIG dogs!!

Racing Category: Road: 4 Cross: 2 MTB: Expt Track: 4

It's official: I'm Cat 2! Woo hoo!

Living the CX Dream

Sunday, November 2nd: 75F and beautiful sunshine, all under the majestic backdrop of the flatirons for the 2008 Boulder Cup. While the weather was seasonally atypical, I wasn't complaining. I was solely focused on the task at hand, winning.After my first win in Cat 3 last weekend, my confidence soared, and I was on a high all week, anticipating the Cat 3 showdown at today's Boulder Cup. The race was run under the UCI format and rules, so my race was only Cat 3 women (instead of the usual large Open Women field), and was a mere 30 min in length, compared to the usual 45min. It was gonna be short and intense, no doubt.

Goal #1: Get out fast. With a 100 meter paved straight at the start, it was much easier to judge my competition and my speed. Within 50 meters I was commanding the front.
Goal #2: Open up a gap. I put the power down right away, and after the first set of barriers I opened up a sizable lead.Goal #3: Put the hurt on, and power to victory. I did just that! Even though I was physically hurting, and had gone out much faster than I normally do, I put my heart on permanent redline, not only to win, but to do so while giving my all. I was stoked to come across the line first, arms raised high overhead!!
I got to stand top step on the podium and relish my victory! Chris was there every second snapping photos and congratulating me!
After the race, my bike went up on the stand at the CoMotion trailer as a shrine to my efforts!
Chris got artistic with his photography.
It was great to have the support of the CoMo crew and my friend Stef came out again! Thank you!! From here it only gets harder, but CX has definitely found its niche with me... Bring on the pain and torture!!!