Yesterday just sucked, that's all I can possibly fluff it up. It's been 5 months since my Dad passed away, and life doesn't just go on as normal like everyone thinks. Those demons live inside me and attack my psyche often, and when I least expect it. Coupled with the extreme stress of school, it's been a rough semester to say the least. I've been getting help, and helping myself, but what happened yesterday just blew me out of the water, so to speak. While we sat for our last class of the day to begin, a 3-hour doozy of Health Ethics on Friday afternoon, we were abruptly informed that our professor had sustained extreme head trauma in a motor vehicle accident, and that the family had decided to discontinue life support. Our class was in shock, I was in despair.
Frankly, I'm tired of traumatic events, and I'm tired of people I really care about dying. I feel like I've been stripped down to the raw bone and nerve again, with all of the anxiety and helplessness flooding back in.
Today was better, yet it's another insurmountable task added to my plate to work through this latest bout of grief. I'm planning to race tomorrow, and hopefully exorcise some of those lingering demons.
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Megan, when I realized life is short,(a life threatening disease 18 years ago) it prompted me to squeeze every bit of living out of every day possible. Grieve, but get on with making every day count. See you on the trail soon.
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